It's raining here at Oakland Cemetery. Not a hard rain. One of those soft southern rains where a hat keeps the rain off your glasses but doesn't soak you to the bone. I walk through the graves and see some full names and ranks, but mostly just the state they were from. No dog tags back then. Just regimentalinsignia I'm guessing, if that. Maybe only a piece of his body was left after walking into canister cannon fire, the rank of Captain on a bloody remment of uniform. A lotof almost anonymous dead boys, most of them fighting the Yankees simply because 'y'all are down here.'
I remember last year walking through another cemetery in the rain, near San Diego. I was there for a gala reception at the San Diego Art Institute which had picked an image of my dying father for an exhibition. I visited the Fort Rosecrans National Cemetery on my way to the end ofPoint Lomas.No confederate dead that I could see, but plenty of union dead. And I found some fresh graves too. Boys who had died less than a month prior in Iraq. A Army sergeant here. A Marine private there.
And at Point Lomas, I saw the Aircraft Carrier Enterprise leave port, a day or two after Bush had flow on board and declare the mission accomplished.
It been almost a year now, on this rainy day in Atlanta, since sighting of the Enterprise. More boys are dying. More Iraq men, women and children dead too.
I hate this war. I really hate it.
It seems there is an unspoken rule that artists are not supposed to speak outpublicly about politics anymore. I was recently talking with a Scottish musician after his show and he reluctantly and quietly expressed his concerns with the current Bush administration, seemingly afraid that other concert goers may not buy his CD if they knew his anger at America. I myself have been resistant to talk about the war publicly at times, especially at my own openings so as not to piss off the Republicans and the wealthy who tend to buy my work. But I'm beginning to feel a bit like a court jester to the privileged, here to awe and entertain them, not to put an unpleasant shine on my work by expressing my disgust with the current wars in Iraq and against Terror. Don't share your anger at the selfish insanity of the Neo Conservatives seems to be the credo. You may not make a sale. If I keep this up though, I'm afraid, I'll end up being a house nigger, forgetting my friends in the field who are working the crops while I'm preparing the meals for Massa and his family up here at the Big House. I don't want that to happen but it could.
In my mind, there have only been three wars in this country's history that needed to be fought. The Revolutionary War, The Civil War, and World War Two. All the other wars were built on lies, greed, power, foolishness and/or stupid political obligations. Even the before mentioned 'good' wars could have been resolved if men had decided to let others just be free. But at least from those three wars, something good came, be it a new free country, the abolition of slavery, and the fall of global fascism.
But these current two wars, the war in Iraq, and the war on Terror, are built on a few men and women who have used the national tragedy of 9/11 to promote an extreme world view. It's about Oil? Perhaps. But it may be more about a personal resentment against a ruthless leader who threatened your Dad. It may be more about a way to make money by rebuilding a country after we destroy it. Or maybe, the Bush administration and the Neo Conservatives went to war, simply because they could.
And the supposed war on Terror appears me, to be about creating more fear and less freedom for all people around the world, including Americans. We fight terrorists with the same tools they used on us, Fear and Force.
America has become a country that I'm having a hard time loving, but I still love it. We are becoming a culture where the majority of its citizens are selfish, self centered, narcissists who become angry when you ask them to behave with common courtesy. Who pretend they are rich, by buying plasma screen TVs and acquiring huge credit card debt in order to impress themselves and others. They buy more house than they can afford and becoming house poor. Or they buy a house as part of a Vegas style land speculation gamble. These Americans are not really rich, but still have the same entitlement issues that the Ruling Classes have had for thousands of years. They drive SUVs fast through parking lots, oblivious of people and children walking to the stores. They play music loud through apartment walls, oblivious of the right to peace and quiet at night. They barely teach their children right from wrong. (It's too inconvenient for them to be bothered with parenting.) They are willing to sacrifice their own and others civil liberties in the pursuit of the illusion of absolute safety. We must keep the lights on at all costs, they think. How will I watch TV without electricity? These Americans used to be in the minority, a mild irritation, but in the past 10 years, they have risen to majority status. I don't know my country anymore.
The current administration (and some Democrats too) has lowered the taxes for the wealthy and for large corporations.These politicians believe that government is an evil that should be minimized. I have mine, thank you, now you go get yours. Pull yourself up by your own boots straps. Please ignore that I have had advantages that you didn't have, be it that I was male, white, upper middle class or simply a Defensive End for a second rate college football team. I'm beginning to think that the ideal societal model of the Neo Conservatives is the Republic of Mexico with a few rich and millions of poor people, who serve the rich in Mexico and across the border in the United States. Give the working peoplebasic cable, a shit service job, and the occasional porno and they'll be content. They're entitle to that.
And yes, I have my entitlement issues too. I feel entitled to some Social Security when I get old, even though I'm fully aware that it won't be enough for me to live on. I feel entitled to affordable Medicare and prescription benefits when I'm sick and old and can no longer work. I feel entitled to relatively clean water coming out of my tap and breathable air coming in through my bedroom window. I feel entitled to food from the supermarket that won't kill me because it was been poisoned due to carelessness and greed (I won't fault doughnuts killing me for I choose to eat them.) I feel entitled to a semblance of social and criminal justice, that I won't be put in jail for speaking my mind, nor will I be severely judged simply because of my race or sex (Not an issue for me for I'm a white male but for to my friends of color and the women I know, it sure is.)
And I hope, but don't expect, for a economy and a market place, not based only on the sociopathic motto of 'Nothing personal, it's just business',but based on providing quality goods and services for all classes of people, not just the ruling class. For employers to provide a living wage even to their working poor. I hope for health care for all children in America, and maybe someday for the woman I know who works full time at my photo lab. (She can't afford the health care that is offered to her by her employer, since she only makes $8.25/hour.) I hope for a leadership that see America's role in the world as peacemaker, arbitrator, and yes, when government sponsored thugs in the Sudan are killing thousands of their Christian citizens, to work to stop it. I hope for a conscience populace who thinks about the other man, the other woman, the other child. Not just at Christmas but all year round. I hope for more love, more truth, more beauty, more kindness. I hope for silly and horrible Wars, initialed by my country, to come to an end and to not start any new ones.
The War in Iraq will eventually end, be it one year, five years, fifteen years. but a War on Terror can go on indifferently, as long as people are fed fear and are encouraged to chew and swallow it. As long as fear motives us instead of true faith and hope, the War on Terror can last as long as the remainder of my life time. Our Hundred Years' War.
I have to admit, at times, I feel like a hypocrite, marketing my work through anart agent to rich people in the foothills of Tucson, and large businesses around the Southwest. I try and wash my soul a bit by having a number of my small images for sale, for $25, but I still don't feel very clean. I give some artwork away, but that only helps some.I sell some of my music on CD for cheap, but that doesn't seem like enough. So I writing this essay, about and around this image of The Civil War dead, as a defiant fist in the air.
It's my way of saying, to the powers that be, that I know. I may try and live a spiritual life of giving, kindness and mystery, but Momma didn't raise no fool.
I know. You know, I know, now. And you know, I know who you are.
I take a few photos with my Pentax and its 28 mm lens. Ilford Delta 400 film. The rain is still softly falling, here on the south side of Atlanta, but I am beginning to get pretty wet. Time to get back to the art gallery where I'm installing an circle of hay and Christmas lights for a conference on Mythology.
They say there are 3,000 dead confederates in this cemetery. I feel sad. A bit discouraged. Will there be little cemeteries 20 years from now, in small towns throughout America, to Those Who Died in the Terror Wars?
I pray No.